A friend of mine has been experimenting with internet dating. “It’s not crazy town like it used to be. 1 in 5 marriages start online. It says so on the adverts. I know those things have small print, and it’s probably 1 in 5 marriages between people both called Alex living in Wisconsin start online, but still. It’s worth a shot.”
A few days later she forwarded me this email, sent to her in hope by a prospective date:
“It seems I am a catalyst for everyone who dates me to enjoy incredibly lucky success. The last girl that dated I took to Vegas and she hit the slot jackpot progressive for over $69,000, we then arrived back in NYC and her ex proposed to her and she accepted! (am I entitled to a commission on that? will it be awkward to attend the wedding?)
The girl before that finally completed her symphony while were dating, had it produced and then went to Italy with the Producer and I hear is doing well.
This goes back even to college where my girlfriend at the time and I went to the beach and we found a beautiful diamond necklace in the sand, which she just recently sold for over $50,000.
I seem to have these strange gifted powers or maybe I’m just a bad chain letter, but if you’re looking for love, success and happiness, if you use me to whittle away the time, you will find what you are looking for after and we will both be enriched during the process.”
In a world where this Actually Happened, in a city that seems to attract more than its fair share, elegant cocktails are increasingly important.
Lillet Rose (per glass)2 measures Lillet (red or white, they’re both good, different but good) 1 measure gin 2 measures fresh grapefruit juice
- Shake over ice and strain into a glass