â€œCan I take a look in your purse?â€ asked the security man outside Rickyâ€™s. Iâ€™d been on a quest for glow in the dark vampire teeth to send to godson Arthur (what else?), but was leaving empty handed. Nevertheless, a bag inspection was required, so I unzipped and subjected a wallet, a bunch of keys, 3 lipsticks, 2 lip balms, a blackberry, an i-pod, a note book, 4 pens, a nail file, and a pink plastic banana holder to scrutiny.
â€œSorry, but I gotta do this,â€ the security man apologized as he poked about with a mini torch. â€œThe other day we had a guy come in here and steal 900 bucks worth of stuff. 900! He went in wearing this big grey jacket and came out in a t-shirt wheeling a suitcase. No word of a lie. Full of Halloween costumes. Full. 900 dollars. Of costumes. So Iâ€™m standing there looking into this suitcase thinking, thereâ€™s just me on the door. This is the time youâ€™re gonna want to start running, then I gotta pick; the costumes, or your ass. And he doesnâ€™t know this, but Iâ€™ve got a bad foot, so â€¦
But he just stands there and says; â€œOh these? These costumes? These are mine. I bought them in this other store. These are mine.â€ Itâ€™s lucky we got cameras. Thatâ€™s all I can say.â€
He sighed a disappointed sigh, shaking his head much as Napoleon might have done, surveying the snowy wastes of Russia while his Under-General swore that the weather forecast that morning had promised light to moderate breezes and sunny interludes.
â€œThatâ€™s terribleâ€ I agreed.
â€œI know it. Stealing Halloween costumes. That is Not the spirit of the holiday.â€
â€œExactly,â€ I joked, zipping up my bag. â€œThe spirit of the holiday would be vodka, no?â€
He looked at me balefully, the imperfections of the human condition weighing heavily upon his shoulders.
I went home and had a drink.
Frozen cantaloupe martini (per glass)1 cup of cantaloupe melon chunks 1 shot vodka 1/2 shot triple sec Squeeze of lemon
- Freeze the melon cubes for at least an hour
- Pour the vodka, the triple sec and the chunks of melon into a blender and blitz to a vivid orange slush
- Add a squeeze of lime to taste
If you can make that, you can make this:
Devils on horse back1 rasher of streaky bacon for every 2 no soak de-stoned prunes
I usually count on people eating 4 or 5 depending if thereâ€™s any other food to eat. They can be made in advance and frozen, then cooked from frozen in the oven.
- Cut a slice of streaky bacon in half
- Using a knife blade carefully stretch out the bacon as though you are buttering bread
- It should now be much thinner and about the same length as the original slice
- Place the prune at one end and roll up
- Put on a tray with the loose side on the bottom
- Cook in a hot oven (400ish) for 12 â€“ 15 minutes until the bacon is cooked
- Allow to cool for a few minutes before serving
Itâ€™s traditional to stuff the prune with an almond, but Iâ€™m always a little freaked out eating them, thinking the stoneâ€™s been left in.
If you can make that you can make this:
- Wrap dried apricots in the bacon to make angels on horseback
- Wrap half a fresh fig topped with a thin smear of goat cheese in bacon for a fresher take on the classic